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December 30 movedI have decided to move to http://dresapp.livejournal.com/ as i find this site faster to load, easier to use and it doesnt have as many problems. Ill keet this one for awhile but i hope you guys will join me at live journal. You have to register to post comments but its free and dont worry you wont get alot of junk mail from them. Itleast i dont. Thanks everyone for being here for me through my challenges. I love you all and hope to stay in touch. i will keepvisiting your sites as well. Love and hugs always, Kris December 05 been sooo longIts been awhile since ive written mostly because im not happy with how slow this blog uploads stuff so im looking at starting a new blog at a different site, ofcourse ill send you all my new site addy. I have dialup so it takes forever to download here. I have found a few quicker ones for me.
As for whats new, Well i have a new puppy named Winston. HEs a pug i bought from work. I paid way too much for him but i love him. Hes been sick with a malabsorbtion problem so he is on lots of vitamins and top dog food. Hes eating better than me these days...LOL
Im still working at the kennel but had to cut back at the horse barn. I couldnt hack both on the same day. So even though id rather muck stalls than dog pens itleast i get paid. I forgot what it was like to work and get paid for it!LOL
Not much else is new. I had a horrible stomach bug yesterday. I had it 2 weeks ago too. It only lasts about 12-24 hours than i was fine but all i did was vomit and get the spins. Felt like a bad hangover without the party. I had to call in sick yesterday to the kennel. I dont think they were too thrilled. I have today off anyway so im just going to relax.
WEll thats all i got for now.....talk atcha later.
October 22 All or nothing.....WEll its all or nothing for me it seems. I was going to "ease" back into working, see what i could handle and take my time getting well again....ha! Well ive got 2 jobs now. Mucking out horse stalls where im keeping sunny now and working at a dog kennel. Both physically demanding. I figure ill either be really fit or really dead in a few weeks! Yes im a shit shoveller! Its my new career!LOL But its working with animals and its what i know.
My mood has been really good this week. Im nervous about doing a second bronch on the 31st. They didnt get enough of a sample from last weeks to see if i had rejection so i gotta do another. Im a bit ticked off about that. I also have a small psuedo infection in my lungs which is the same bacteria i had pre xplant. They are treating that with inhaled antibiotics right now but if it doesnt work than i have to go on IV antibiotics again. I was hoping those days were over. October 10 made it homeMy bronch went okay. One of my fav. doctors who was also one of my CF docs who pushed to bump my status did it. SHe did awsome and i totally trust her judgement. I hardly remember anything!! I spent the afternoon sleeping but i needed it anyway since i didnt sleep last night. I think i had a bit of a fever after too but thats common. I dont remeber coughing at all but i did cough up some blood after but again its expected since they take biopsies of the lung. I should have my results when i go back down on monday. Im praying everything is okay and i have no rejection!! October 08 Happy turkey dayHappy thanksgiving everyone....im so stuffed. I pigged out big time, had 3 years to make up for!LOL
Took some pics today of my honey and our son(the dog)!! LOL Love my boys! October 06 kicked down againWEll my breathing tests were down 10% yesterday and becausae i have no other signs of infection or obvious reasons for it other than i have a cold, they want to do a bronch next week. Im more worried about them puncturing my lung again. I hope they dont find any rejection. I really hope its just the cold that caused it. So ill be spending my weekend worrying yet again and dreading toronto....i am starting to really hate them there. They alwasy find something! On a happier note my liver is doing well and they liver xplant team was happy with me. Itleast something is going right. September 30 not what i was hoping to findWell i said i was out to find out who this "new" Kristy was. Well so far im wishing Id not even tried. Ive found that I am needy, depressed, unmotivated and at times feeling vengeful. Things that I once aspired to do with my life dont hold the same pleasure they used to. I still have no idea what I really want and everything I thought I wanted Im now questioning. I feel like my likes and dislikes change from day to day. I lost my spirit during this xplant ordeal and i thought I was getting it back but i havent. I used to know exactly what i wanted and if someone told me i couldnt i would prove them wrong! HA i cant even get out of bed somedays and dont even ask me about commitment. I dont know one day to the next what i want. I hate what this transition has done to me. I hate the thoughts im having and the regret im feeling. I part of me wishes i had my old body and life. I knew it, i could deal with it. Now i feel like an foreign being I dont know where i fit in or if i ever will. I have no motivation anymore. I have people constantly telling me to take my time and find myself and enjoy it but i hate this not knowing or living. I feel like i have no purpose and im just walking around passing time. Thats not why i wanted to live. My CT came back ok. Just a bit of bulging in my lower back...nothing serious. My GP gave me more pain meds for breakthough pain. Shes a saint. I hate that i need them but without them i dont sleep. Ive still got this cold. Im now hacking up crap and its freaking me out a bit. Havent done that since before my surgery. It brings back some bad memories. Garry is going out today/tonight to a bachelor party for his friend. Im gonna miss him. I dont want to sound like he cant have fun without me but i feel so lonely these days and i want him around or itleast home at night. I dont know when im gonna see him again. Maybe ive become too dependent on him. I hate that. I miss my old self terribly. What is wrong with me? |
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